Africa

“What does love mean to you?” My response

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It’s Christmas day!! (Well, depending on what part of the world you are now).

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Sometime ago, a friend asked a question “What does love mean to you?”. I thought it will be nice to share my reply here, since it’s a season of love (although all seasons are of love anyway). Here’s my reply:

What love means to me………..hmmmm. If everyone is expected to write on this theme, I believe plain sheet of paper will become rarer than paper currency in the whole world. Different people have different conceptions about love shaped mostly by experience, some by hearsay, and others by intuition. Some say “love is a serious mental disease”, others say “love is wicked”, another group say, “God is love”, some also say “I don’t believe in love”. But truth be told, love is the force of life. Life is made up of a series of relationships from beginning to end – some will last a lifetime, others won’t- and love is the bedrock of relationships.

Enough of the talk talk that’s like “OP”. Love, to me is a decision, not a feeling. I’m not saying feelings are not in love oh, I’m only saying that they are the FRUITS, not the ROOT of love. Most couples at the cliff of divorce when asked seperately, whether they love each other, they, majority of the times, as stated by counsellors, will answer in the positive. Though, what they feel at that time is like the opposite. A child still loves the mother that shouted at or beat her, though she feels very sad (If you’re within the African continent you’ll understand this). What I’m saying is this, if love were to be a feeling, we’ll not only have broken homes, but a broken planet, and I mean that literarily!! The world will be full of people with “deca-polar” personality disorder.

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At different points what you feel for the things or people you love may be a galaxy apart from the love you have decided to have for them. Love is a decision, and this is especially so for people dating and by extension the married. If he took your breath away the first day you saw him, your lungs just needed to be filled, it wasn’t love. If you had goose pimples the first time you met her, bros that day was cold, it was winter (or harmattan in Nigeria) and you weren’t in thick clothes. It was not love. If she gave you butterflies in your tummy, on your first discourse, it was not love, you probably hadn’t eaten for hours.
Those feelings do not define what love is. They don’t.

Love is a decision to share, care and add value to a person or thing. Feelings come as a fruit of that decision. Please, I feel love too oh. I still miss the special people in my life, I still feel like teleporting to where they are right now, I still smile when I imagine their faces and the times we share.

Merry Christmas once again. Special Shout Out to LEAP Africa’s S2W 11.15. Love and miss you guys.

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So, what does love mean to you? I LOVEEEEEEE to hear see your comments.

@IkeNwosuIsaac