Dear Married (especially newlyweds),
I write today to let you know certain observations I’ve made, and share a truth I have discovered, though I’m not yet one of you. I hope you get something from it.
There is no other family as important to both of you as the family you are building- your husband (wife) and probably your children. All other families are second to “this” family.
These days what I see among some of you marvels me. Some women (and men) now see their husbands as Automated Teller Machines from which they withdraw ALL they can and pump into the family where they were born, some men (and women) see their wives as pleasure/baby making machines from which they add to the number of people in their home family or villages. If you are in this category, you have already missed a core aspect of marriage- companionship!!
Your main focus should be on each other, and the family you are building. You should be aware of, and discuss about each other goals, interests, ambitions, and life purpose. You should help each other out in ALL ways. Always be there for each other, discuss stuff, go out, talk about your kids- how many you both want, and how you want to raise them, keep strife away, seek help when need be, be truthful to each other, love, trust, be reliable, be confident in, and cater for each other. To sum it all up, just be real intimate FRIENDS!!!
If “So shall a man (woman) leave his father and mother and cleave unto his (her) wife (husband) and they shall become one flesh” means nothing to you, then there will be a problem. It is not a must that you get married, but since you are, you must be committed to making it work. Work together with each other to build your family.
Your wife (or husband) is not a property that you bought, and can sell, dispose, or buy another one anytime you like. Your husband (or wife) is not a teller that you go to to withdraw money, and when there isno more money, you desert him (or her).
You are now ONE FLESH, act it!!! Remember, “a house divided against itself shall not prosper”.
Your Faithful Unmarried Brother,
Ikechukwu Nwosu (@IkeNwosuIsaac)
Okay, good day friends. Let’s go……
I write today because of the deplorable state of human relationships I see everywhere (especially in my surrounding). It’s difficult to believe that someone would not want to cheat you, that someone will not intentionally hurt you, that there’s nobody that wants your downfall. Many people see everyother person as enemies, thus treating them as such. This has profound impact on our character that we tend to want to hurt others even before we “think” they would hurt us. You can no longer discuss a business idea with someone who has the financial capacity to see it through, without him/her thinking you are a con. Seriously, I get tired of things like this.
Even husbands and wives do not trust each other with THEIR money. Brothers, sisters, and other kinsmen and women are gradually becoming enemies, all thanks to LACK OF TRUST. People cheat on their spouse because they “think” their spouse is, our would cheat on them later, so they better cheat now to keep the score tied. Paranoia everywhere; “you think I want to hurt you, and I think you want to hurt me” syndrome is gaining grounds almost everywhere today.
Give people the benefit of the doubt (hey, I’m not saying you should be gullible, I’m just saying that if you find no reason to doubt them, don’t). You yourself, be trustworthy. Let’s all learn to make little deposits in our trust account with others. When you make a promise, fulfil it, when you owe, pay before, or as at when due, match your words and your actions, be faithful, DO NOT LIE!! (especially the ones we do to cover facts). Be good and loyal.
Imagine how it would be if I could walk into a company, request for some of their goods on credit, promising to pay when I make sales, and they give me, simply because they TRUST me (and ofcourse I did not cheat them!). This way, you have been able to start a business, with TRUST (not money, or your house or property). Poverty will reduce, death rate will drop, relationships will be better, you will be happier, and the economy will boost.
Thanks for visiting my blog today. I honour you. Share your thoughts on this issue, I’m really looking forward reading them.
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Love is one of the most popularized and widely defined words in the world. With everyone giving their personal definitions based on their experiences, values, culture, or knowledge. This article is here to let us know what love is not. Some of the definitions given to love by people are either fake, or a shadow of the real meaning of love. What love is not:
1. Love is not a feeling
The question “What is love?” was once thrown to someone I know sometime ago, and the answer he gave was “Love is a deep feeling of affection towards someone or something”. Many people will agree with this definition, but this is not what love is. Feelings are the FRUITS not the ROOTS of love. You do not start loving because of a thing you feel, you start loving by a decision to care, share, and give. Feelings develop from love, not the other way round. Some other times feelings may develop from our own selfishness, that is, we begin to feel the need for the person or thing just because of what we want to get from the person or thing. If love is based on feelings, what happens when the feelings are gone? Hatred? You will agree with me that sometimes, what we feel for some friends and family when they offend or annoy us is what we will call hatred. But even in that feeling, we never stopped loving them. This shows that feelings are not reliable pointers to love. Epilepsy is what sweeps you off your feet, not love. Asthma is what takes your breath away, not love. Anxiety is what gives you goose bumps, not love. Stomach ulceration or stomach upset is what causes butterflies in your tummy, not love!!
2. Love is not sex
We have tied sex to love so many times that we all agree that having sex is “making love”. If sex means making love, why then are hookers, and commercial sex workers not the most loving and lovely people on earth? Sex displays committment and one-ness with the other person, and this level of unity can only be ascertained in marriage (In another article we will see more about this).
3. Love is not a good or service
People think they can buy or sell love. No way!!! It is practically impossible to do that. No amount of money (or what it can buy) can buy or pay for love. It can only pay for pretence, because when the money is gone, the true self is revealed, and love will not be found. Love cannot be sold, you only sell your dignity and ego, and sooner or later, you loose your personality, and become a slave to the master that bought you. Be careful.
We will look at “What love is”, next time. Love you.
A young man was given a form to fill, and on the first section of that form, he was meant to input his personal data, so he started off. He wrote his name on the space provided, did same for his address, phone number, email, and date of birth. When he got to the space he was meant to write his sex, he wrote “Five times daily”. Surprising and somewhat funny isn’t it? Some individuals still do not know that sex is not just sexual intercourse alone, but also involve a whole lot of things.
Sex can be categorized in two ways: possession of holistic anatomical structures (this makes possible for classification into male and female), and sexual intercourse (this makes possible, the unity of male and female).
Sexual intercourse is the most popularized and widely used description for sex. It is here that we find concepts as homosexuality, bestiality, bisexuality, e.t.c
People think they are born bisexual, homosexual, or bestial, but there is NO person in the world as this. Its just that these sexual concepts have in one way or the other, entered their personalities and have taken over their beings, thus making the individual feels he/she is that way naturally. These concepts make us less humans and affect all aspects of our health and relationships. Above all, they are not natural or normal. Did you know that before 1973 homosexuals were taken to psychiatric hospitals because that act was seen as abnormal and irrational? That many people are engaging in it these days does not make them normal. They are still abnormal!!!
When the sun begins to rise from the west, the moon begins to shine bright in the day, fishes begin to walk on land, night never comes for a week, we know that something is wrong. Then mankind seek ways to restore the universe from these chaotic conditions. Let us fight this and restore many individuals to their original selves. One love!!