Love and Relationships
It’s Christmas day!! (Well, depending on what part of the world you are now).
Sometime ago, a friend asked a question “What does love mean to you?”. I thought it will be nice to share my reply here, since it’s a season of love (although all seasons are of love anyway). Here’s my reply:
What love means to me………..hmmmm. If everyone is expected to write on this theme, I believe plain sheet of paper will become rarer than paper currency in the whole world. Different people have different conceptions about love shaped mostly by experience, some by hearsay, and others by intuition. Some say “love is a serious mental disease”, others say “love is wicked”, another group say, “God is love”, some also say “I don’t believe in love”. But truth be told, love is the force of life. Life is made up of a series of relationships from beginning to end – some will last a lifetime, others won’t- and love is the bedrock of relationships.
Enough of the talk talk that’s like “OP”. Love, to me is a decision, not a feeling. I’m not saying feelings are not in love oh, I’m only saying that they are the FRUITS, not the ROOT of love. Most couples at the cliff of divorce when asked seperately, whether they love each other, they, majority of the times, as stated by counsellors, will answer in the positive. Though, what they feel at that time is like the opposite. A child still loves the mother that shouted at or beat her, though she feels very sad (If you’re within the African continent you’ll understand this). What I’m saying is this, if love were to be a feeling, we’ll not only have broken homes, but a broken planet, and I mean that literarily!! The world will be full of people with “deca-polar” personality disorder.
At different points what you feel for the things or people you love may be a galaxy apart from the love you have decided to have for them. Love is a decision, and this is especially so for people dating and by extension the married. If he took your breath away the first day you saw him, your lungs just needed to be filled, it wasn’t love. If you had goose pimples the first time you met her, bros that day was cold, it was winter (or harmattan in Nigeria) and you weren’t in thick clothes. It was not love. If she gave you butterflies in your tummy, on your first discourse, it was not love, you probably hadn’t eaten for hours.
Those feelings do not define what love is. They don’t.
Love is a decision to share, care and add value to a person or thing. Feelings come as a fruit of that decision. Please, I feel love too oh. I still miss the special people in my life, I still feel like teleporting to where they are right now, I still smile when I imagine their faces and the times we share.
Merry Christmas once again. Special Shout Out to LEAP Africa’s S2W 11.15. Love and miss you guys.
So, what does love mean to you? I LOVEEEEEEE to
hear see your comments.
Aside Posted on
Long time no connect. Just enjoy this, with love.
Amidst the yawning and the stretching
Her body on my bed and her skin on mine
Took me far beyond cloud nine
The brightness of her eyes too powerful
Much more than radiography on a cancer patient
It sure could heal all ills
The warmth of her breath on my lips
Melted the lip cracks cause by this dry “Saharian” wind on a trip
Her arms, caressing life into me
Perusing my ebony skin from crown to toe
Sending chills, no, warmth down my spine
She rolled me up in her
Cuddling me like an infant
For you, I’ll remain a baby forever!
I want to have you both day and night
I wish it will ever be possible
I love you sweetheart
I love you dear SUN
First from my mother
That very day when I woke up with so much vigour
Took my bath, and ran off to prepare for school
Mother had already prepared my meal
So I took to the dining to eat
Father, who was supposed to take me to school
Left very early for an important meeting
Mother took me to school after the meal
I was happy that day, I didn’t know why
As she dropped me by the school gate
I kissed her and walked into the school
Reaching the gate I turned back to wave goodbye
Suddenly!! Just like a flash
This eighteen wheeler ran into mother’s car
Crushed it, and I shouted “Mother”
Wishing she was not in the car
Unfortunately, she was, and she died instantly
It was September 23rd, I lost her that day
New mother came August 5th
Eleven months later
But she never acted like a mother
When she came my peace left
Sleep late, wake early,
Perform chores over and over again
Despised whenever I read, but I read anyway
Run errands late at night
She put me through much more than all these
I told dad, but she always found a way to justify herself
Dad never took me seriously
Celeste was my solace, my friend
The daughter of our neighbour
The sister I never had
New wife soon had her children
I would have called them brother and sister
But they never acted so
Their mother had taught them
To hate me, oh what a mother!
If my mother was around, things would have been better
Soon father was away to never land
Caught by a stray bullet, during an armed robbery
It was July 30th
Now it’s me and the tripartite beings
Who daily maltreat me
They envy my little success in school
Still I’m not bothered
Mother’s love abides forever
Always an inch ahead
Maybe it’s my good deeds that put me in the lead
Thanks to Celeste, who has always been there for me
She was indeed a sister
In all I’m glad for the few good people I know
Still optimistic they would change,
I mean the tripartite beings,
To the good tripartite beings in the heavenlies
Thank you for Andrew.
As I write today, I remember my father, John O. Nwosu (late), and the profound impact he made on every aspect of my life. He taught me to be peaceful, caring, helpful, accomodating, he taught me to laugh, forgive, and to READ!!! I learnt ALL these by just WATCHing him act them out to everyone I saw him come in contact with. His actions and LIFEstyle had trained me on how to live honourably, such that when he spoke about these things to me, it’s like revision of what I see him DO.
He leaves for work in the morning, but always comes back home with two important things in his portfolio- his newspaper, and our snack. This happens five days a week. The weekends were not left out because I usually look out for newspaper vendors and the sound of their “hand-horn” to get our newspaper. Yes, our newspaper. I see him read everyday, so I had to want to read. Though, I started with the cartoon section (usually at the last pages), I read the newspaper virtually everyday. I then moved on to the sports section, solved puzzles, followed by the section with health tips, and all other parts of this information source. This buried an important lesson in me, and it is that, “You read to KNOW, not to pass any test. This lesson has impacted my life and academics since then. Father gave me the first foreign novel I read, it was “The Merchant of Vernice” and I loved it.
I spend my evenings with him, in front of the television, watching, and listening to news, and soap operas before I go to bed. He always calls me “Iyke One”, and this makes me feel even above “on top of the world”. Did I mention that I was the last child? Oh sorry I didn’t, I was indeed the last child, and I love this position! We’ll gist about our day, and other stuff I don’t want you to know about (lol).
I’m grown now, but I still wish we’ll have those moments again. I miss him.
If I continue to write now, I may never finish any time soon, but this was the foundation of my inquisitive attitude- a constant thirst for knowledge. I want to say to all parents and guardians, that they read a book to their children, even to toddlers who may not understand, at least, they will know that reading is part of life. As they grow, GIVE them books to read and review, and teach them to read to gain knowledge.
Books, whether electronic or hard copies helps us to:
• Acquire, and formulate principles that will help us succeed in our endeavours
• Sharpen our thoughts- You begin to think in the direction you may never have come across, you gain new knowledge.
• Relate well with ourselves- You develop better habits.
I know, some books exists that achieve the exact opposite of what is above, but if as a parent/guardian, you expose your children/wards to what is right, they will not depart from it.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to drop a comment and share this with your friends.
Dear Married (especially newlyweds),
I write today to let you know certain observations I’ve made, and share a truth I have discovered, though I’m not yet one of you. I hope you get something from it.
There is no other family as important to both of you as the family you are building- your husband (wife) and probably your children. All other families are second to “this” family.
These days what I see among some of you marvels me. Some women (and men) now see their husbands as Automated Teller Machines from which they withdraw ALL they can and pump into the family where they were born, some men (and women) see their wives as pleasure/baby making machines from which they add to the number of people in their home family or villages. If you are in this category, you have already missed a core aspect of marriage- companionship!!
Your main focus should be on each other, and the family you are building. You should be aware of, and discuss about each other goals, interests, ambitions, and life purpose. You should help each other out in ALL ways. Always be there for each other, discuss stuff, go out, talk about your kids- how many you both want, and how you want to raise them, keep strife away, seek help when need be, be truthful to each other, love, trust, be reliable, be confident in, and cater for each other. To sum it all up, just be real intimate FRIENDS!!!
If “So shall a man (woman) leave his father and mother and cleave unto his (her) wife (husband) and they shall become one flesh” means nothing to you, then there will be a problem. It is not a must that you get married, but since you are, you must be committed to making it work. Work together with each other to build your family.
Your wife (or husband) is not a property that you bought, and can sell, dispose, or buy another one anytime you like. Your husband (or wife) is not a teller that you go to to withdraw money, and when there isno more money, you desert him (or her).
You are now ONE FLESH, act it!!! Remember, “a house divided against itself shall not prosper”.
Your Faithful Unmarried Brother,
Ikechukwu Nwosu (@IkeNwosuIsaac)
Ah! It’s been a while since I posted here, and believe me, I’ve really missed posting here. So sorry for my absence.
Let’s go to the post of today
“I not only use the brains I have, but all I can borrow”- Woodrow Wilson
No one has ever been able to achieve anything without the help of people. From Adam, to Jesus, to Martin Luther King Jnr, you will discover that people are needed to fulfil even our own personal goals and dreams. I always say that the universe is big enough to contain each individual to a planet because it expands three times the earth every second. But the seven billion of us are “choked” here on earth alone. This is because we need each other!! There is no goal, activity, or aspiration, no matter how personal, that another individual is not needed. If not for anything, at least for accountability.
There is no company/business without employee(s), no kingdom without citizens, no family without people. You cannot do it well alone. If you want to, then TAKE A TRIP TO JUPITER.
So happy to post again and bring smile to your faces, inspiration and motivation to you soul, and happiness in your presence.
You can connect with me on twitter @IkeNwosuIsaac Leave a comment, it is HIGHLY appreciated!! One love
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?”
Good afternoon friends. Let me go staright to what we have today….
There are two point I want to make from that scripture. The first is that, Apostle Paul (The Writer) was trying to let the Church in Rome know that there is no-thing or situation or circumstance that can stop (seperate) him from loving God. He has made up his mind to love God forever. That is suppose to be the way of all Humans- loving God with ALL your heart and mind, making a decision to care and share. We have been called to love (God).
The second message here is that, God’s love for us is everlasting and constant. God’s love for us (ALL HUMANS) has been in existence, from the foundation of the world. No matter what you do, God’s love is still available for you to accept it. It is what I call constant love, and that is how God wants us to love Him back, and our neighbours too!!
Like I usually say; Love God and Love Man is the core reason why we are here. Do have a blessed week ahead. I love you!!!
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