Love is one of the most popularized and widely defined words in the world. With everyone giving their personal definitions based on their experiences, values, culture, or knowledge. This article is here to let us know what love is not. Some of the definitions given to love by people are either fake, or a shadow of the real meaning of love. What love is not:
1. Love is not a feeling
The question “What is love?” was once thrown to someone I know sometime ago, and the answer he gave was “Love is a deep feeling of affection towards someone or something”. Many people will agree with this definition, but this is not what love is. Feelings are the FRUITS not the ROOTS of love. You do not start loving because of a thing you feel, you start loving by a decision to care, share, and give. Feelings develop from love, not the other way round. Some other times feelings may develop from our own selfishness, that is, we begin to feel the need for the person or thing just because of what we want to get from the person or thing. If love is based on feelings, what happens when the feelings are gone? Hatred? You will agree with me that sometimes, what we feel for some friends and family when they offend or annoy us is what we will call hatred. But even in that feeling, we never stopped loving them. This shows that feelings are not reliable pointers to love. Epilepsy is what sweeps you off your feet, not love. Asthma is what takes your breath away, not love. Anxiety is what gives you goose bumps, not love. Stomach ulceration or stomach upset is what causes butterflies in your tummy, not love!!
2. Love is not sex
We have tied sex to love so many times that we all agree that having sex is “making love”. If sex means making love, why then are hookers, and commercial sex workers not the most loving and lovely people on earth? Sex displays committment and one-ness with the other person, and this level of unity can only be ascertained in marriage (In another article we will see more about this).
3. Love is not a good or service
People think they can buy or sell love. No way!!! It is practically impossible to do that. No amount of money (or what it can buy) can buy or pay for love. It can only pay for pretence, because when the money is gone, the true self is revealed, and love will not be found. Love cannot be sold, you only sell your dignity and ego, and sooner or later, you loose your personality, and become a slave to the master that bought you. Be careful.
We will look at “What love is”, next time. Love you.